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I just got this email from one of my coworkers, who obviously is a philosopher. What do you think?


Can  you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why  do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for  your thoughts’?  Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once  you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried  in for eternity?

Why  does a round pizza come in a square box?

What  disease did cured ham actually have?

How  is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a  good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why  is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like  every two hours?

If  a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why  are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why  do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars  to look at things on the ground?

Why  do doctors leave the room while you change?
They’re  going to see you naked anyway.

Why  is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why  do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible  crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If  Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about  him?

Can  a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If  the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a  radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why  does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re  both dogs!

If  Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he  just buy dinner?

If  corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,  what is baby oil made from?

If  electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do  the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why  do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call  it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did  you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you,  but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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