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Something isn’t quite right. I’m not sure what it is yet, but I don’t think the status quo can continue rolling along. I’m starting to smell the winds of change. I feel stymied. I don’t know what to do. I feel that I am not doing a good enough job at being a mother, wife, friend, or myself. Time time time I scream I need more. I can’t do anything. I have no time, no energy, no will. Something needs to happen. There is a certain joy that is missing, that we had just a few months ago. I feel like the bottom is falling out of what seemed like it would last for another year or two, until our planned change. I’m wondering if it needs to happen sooner. I’m really starting to feel a pull that my life needs to be spent in a more productive way and more dedicated to my family. I feel like I am the weak link. I’m not good enough, can’t do enough. I’m afraid I’m letting people down.

Here comes the guilt, again.

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